River's Day Off :)

Something was off in class today. Something beyond just the absence of our teacher. The sub was very relaxed and ordered us to check Google Classroom for our assignments. Like a scene out of Lord of the Flies, the absence of an adult has led to the rise of a power-hungry barbaric savage. Young Dog has claimed the throne. His first action as almighty dictator was to banish all the females and minorities (pretty much all the non-WASPs).  Many objected to this law, however fewer objected to his brute strength. Young Dog used his brute strength to summon a lasso out of his backpack and ordered all the anarchists to shut up and get in the closet. James, a well-liked patriot in the class, stood up to his authoritative rule. James dashed for the door in hopes of finding a teacher or anyone that could help. His sprint was halted by an immovable object. Young Dog's barreled chest and stork-like extremities brought James to a crashing stop. James fell to the ground and attempted to scurry to his feet. His efforts were abruptly ended by a fierce blow of a desk to his skull. Towering above his unconscious body, Young Dog took out a canister of gasoline and began pouring it on the rebels body to make an example out of him. He took out a Zippo lighter,  and pressed a huge cigar to his lips. He lit the cigar with perfect balance and symmetry and gave it a puff. He allowed the cigar to fall from his mouth. Looks of terror ran across my peers faces. I could not stand for these autocracies any more. I reached into my backpack and pulled out my first aid kit and fire extinguisher and yelled "Finally this came in clutch!". I quickly channeled my inner Fire Marshall Smokey the Bear and put James's screaming to an end. I directed my attention towards the menace that was reigning terror. I reached into my first aid kit and pulled out my wooden stake. I grasped the stake with white knuckles and locked eyes with the beast. Young Dog's inner satin was prominent in his eyes as they gleamed back at me. The classroom morphed into the Valley of Ashes with only Doctor Eckleburg to witness. I let out a loud roar and charged the monster. He matched my charge like two comets in the same orbital path. We collided with a force so great Einstein could not comprehend it. The Valley of Ashes transformed into a cloud of dust. The only remaining structure was a gallant warrior menacing over the crippled body of Young Dog, the wooden stake protruding from his heart, well his heart if he had one. I called my chauffeur and he drove me back to my lovely estate in West Egg where I spent my remaining days stalking some chick named Daisy. We then did the assignment.